We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
