At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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