girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
