I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
40s are totally the cure
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
