good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am available for nakedness
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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