I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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