Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
