As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
