I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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