Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
