But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
