When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
