also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
