I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need to align my fucking chakras
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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