I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
smell my finger.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
