We won't sleep together?
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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