I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
third nipple confirmed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
