The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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