How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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