well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
