Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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