she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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