Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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