I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
