So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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