just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
