Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
