so let's talk penis.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
