Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
