Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
