I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
