watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
