you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
