I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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