At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
