I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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