You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
