He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
