Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
