Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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