So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
