They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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