Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
