Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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