is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
