so that wasnt chicken after all
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
