So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
