i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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