hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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