In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
